Thursday, May 7, 2015

my little girl

because that's what you are now, you have changed immeasurably over the past year and i have been so slack at writing it all down. that's your mama - inconsistent is my middle name. i wanted to especially write this down because we've seen such a massive change in you over the past two weeks. i look at you and no longer see a helpless baby but a little girl with endless energy, an inquisitive little mind and her very own opinions. a little girl who knows exactly what she wants (and how to get it). a little girl who adores school and gets thoroughly upset every time i walk into the kitchen to prep a bottle/coffee/school bag/breakfast then head back into the house instead of out the door. a little girl i cannot get enough of watching interact with her school mates, waving hello and goodbye as they do the same, little eye popped up over the door calling your name and then giving "sugar" (hugs). a little girl who dances and twirls so much she falls down with dizziness. a little girl who lives to be outside playing in the dirt. a little girl who will keep taking my hand and leading me to the gate while i'm trying to cook dinner or tidy up. a little girl who struts.

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you started talking a while ago and have had a few words for some time - mama, dada, papa, coco, no, hello, bye-bye, ky, kiki (your teacher nicky), gogo (teachers assistant who you all adore), doof (dog), mouw (cat), preese (please). sure, you attempted new words - mostly names here and there. some stuck, some didn't. then we arrived in jo'burg and it all came to crashing halt. you called us liars almost the entire trip - we couldn't even get you to whisper "papa" (probably the cutest thing you say because you won't talk it like every other word but insist on whispering it). you even stopped baby jabber. you went totally mute - bar the uncontrollable giggles when papa tickled you of course. had our little show-off gone all shy? were you feeling overwhelmed? the answer, a huge resounding NO. we now know you were taking it all in, learning, processing, getting ready to explode with new words, mannerisms and a deeper understanding of the world around you.

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you're love for the moon is finally verbalised as you point skywards, inhale excitedly and proudly proclaim "moo". could this mama and papa be more enchanted? and when it's morning and the moon is sleeping, we ask, "where's the moon baby?" you hold out your little hands at shoulder height with the sweetest expression of not knowing on your beautiful face. could you be anymore edible? when the sun baby rises and giggles in teletubbies you become so overcome, smiling, giggling, ecstatically stomping those busy feet and bringing both your hands to your mouth in absolute over-flowith-joy! when you see no-face in howls moving castle, wave and happily greet him "hello". the way you sing along in song of the sea. coming up from nana's and seeing you knock-knock-knock on the glass door, so polite and well mannered. you. blow. kisses. mama's morning delight - we drop you at school and papa takes you out your seat and we blow one another kisses and wave "bye-bye". you wave hello to everyone you who crosses your path and it's so sweet but also terrifying at the same time because you are way to friendly.

things that are still totally you but better expressed - well for one your total infatuation with your papa. you kicked me out the of the bedroom the other morning - we had woken, as we usually do on a weekend morning, and were letting daddy sleep in. on noticing the bedroom door was closed, you ran over to it and began banging on it and moaning, so naturally i opened it for you and followed you in. you took one look at papa, turned on your heel, pushed me out the room and then shut the door in my face. heart-breaking but freaking cute! i just adore your madamness. last night you picked up a cushion, laid it in papa's nook, climbed up on the couch and snuggled on in there - snuggling papa has always been your thing but now you do it so independently. you've counted along with me while i scoop the formula into your bottle since you were a few months old - i now hear the words forming in your utterly kissable mouth. you are still such a ball of energy and it's go time from the time those big beautiful eyes open until they gently slide closed at night. one day we shall have you a t-shirt made that states quite matter-of-factly "i came here to fuck shit up.". i do have to say that you are incredibly sweet and easy going for a little girl who’s a month away from your second birthday. the depth of that sweet, easy goingness never ceases to amaze...  

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keep being amazing lila bear.