Wednesday, August 26, 2015


you have a big girl bed. and you've slept in it for the past two nights. i sprang it on your papa the night before last stating, "tonight is the night". i wish i had captured his face! i think this has been most traumatic for him. i knew it would be and that's why i made the decision and just did it. because if it was left to him you would be thirty and still sleeping in our room. i really didn't want to have any expectations of you and how it would go, i just wanted it to be what it would be and let it all happen as it needed to and i am so proud to say it went, and is going, so so well. yes we are only two nights in and it's still early days but that's why we have decided to leave your cot in our bedroom for just'in, you know?

in other huge news you went pee-pee in your potty! and it was celebrations and jubilation all round... we've had a potty for some time now and you've always been super enthusiastic about it and so, we've taken our ques from you and then it just clicked in your head one day. your teacher said you did a sprinkle that day at school and were super chuffed with yourself - i mean who wouldn't be! then that evening, you were half naked - as usual - you started holding your little jay-jay and running on the spot, so papa ran and got the potty, you sat, got the most worried look on your face, i mustered all my mama love, looked you dead in the eye, smiled my biggest most encouraging smile and told you "yes baby, that's right, you're doing it perfectly" and you let go! your utter surprise will be forever ingrained in my memory - it was magnificent. you got up, checked your pee out and then we all jumped around and high fived like we had just won the world cup od pee-pee-in-potty and it was pure joy! now we have to do it every time and that's totally cool by us. plus you tiny butt in knickers is next level edible!

finding nemo is the current movie of choice and, of course, so are fishies. papa overruled me an got you a fish which you named where-boo - which is how you say "where you". you adored him. alas where-boo took a ride down the porcelain express and has since been replaced with kurt, dave and chris - three fan tail gold fish. you love feeding them and it's our go to distraction when your attention needs diverting. thanks kurt, dave and chris - we will forever be indebted to your fancy-tailed-selves.

we visited the aquarium last sunday and arrived just as they started to feed the stingrays. what an experience. you were the first little person to stand right against the glass all by yourself, the other kids followed soon after. you looked up at one point and saw a group of kids to your left so you joined them and proceeded to be the loudest and cutest of them all, exclaiming loudly "what is this? what is this? fishies! fishies!" and high fiving the diver through the glass. papa told me later when we got into the car that just before the stingrays you had found two little girls, whom you went to go stand by and when he came closer you turned around, held your hand up and quite adamantly told him"no!" and to "go!" haha! god, i really adore you and your independent bossiness.

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Thursday, July 9, 2015

a peek inside

here's a peek inside bear's bedroom. not that she sleeps in it. oh no. gary and i are far to fond of having a tiny little snuggler in our bed and have yet to actually make a decision on when she will be moved into her big girl bed... i know we are probably shooting ourselves in the foot but it just doesn't feel right to have her so faraway from us. our home is a constant work in progress and so little bear's bedroom is too. i don't think she will ever sleep in here to be honest, next year uncle kyle is moving out and so we will make his much large bedroom her bedroom. shall we call this her playroom for intensive purposes?

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tent: cotton on / dresser: mistry's / mini lanterns & star light: mr p home / triangle decals & cloud mobile: motif  / have you seen my cowboy original illustration: leigh harrington-rielly / bespoke ceramic bear nightlight: the mud co 

Monday, July 6, 2015


i'm not going to write you an essay today but rather just share some photo's and a video clip from your birthday. we didn't make a trip to jhb this year but rather chose to spend your special day at home, which turned out grand because you were quite sick. we made decorations, confetti, baked a cake, wrapped your pressies and set it all up for you before we went to bed the night before so that when you woke your brain would explode with birthday awesome! and, that it did. you walked out the bedroom and went "wwwoooowwww" in whispered amazement. it was so so rad. you opened your pressies, played with them a bit and then we feasted on cake for breakfast. you're favorite part was definitely the giant balloon. it was a good day. happy birthday baby lila bear. we love you sweet girl. forever.

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we pimped your trike. papa lovingly sanded it down, re-sprayed it white and added some black and white ribbon tassels to the handles. turned out kinda rad, no?

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Thursday, May 7, 2015

my little girl

because that's what you are now, you have changed immeasurably over the past year and i have been so slack at writing it all down. that's your mama - inconsistent is my middle name. i wanted to especially write this down because we've seen such a massive change in you over the past two weeks. i look at you and no longer see a helpless baby but a little girl with endless energy, an inquisitive little mind and her very own opinions. a little girl who knows exactly what she wants (and how to get it). a little girl who adores school and gets thoroughly upset every time i walk into the kitchen to prep a bottle/coffee/school bag/breakfast then head back into the house instead of out the door. a little girl i cannot get enough of watching interact with her school mates, waving hello and goodbye as they do the same, little eye popped up over the door calling your name and then giving "sugar" (hugs). a little girl who dances and twirls so much she falls down with dizziness. a little girl who lives to be outside playing in the dirt. a little girl who will keep taking my hand and leading me to the gate while i'm trying to cook dinner or tidy up. a little girl who struts.

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you started talking a while ago and have had a few words for some time - mama, dada, papa, coco, no, hello, bye-bye, ky, kiki (your teacher nicky), gogo (teachers assistant who you all adore), doof (dog), mouw (cat), preese (please). sure, you attempted new words - mostly names here and there. some stuck, some didn't. then we arrived in jo'burg and it all came to crashing halt. you called us liars almost the entire trip - we couldn't even get you to whisper "papa" (probably the cutest thing you say because you won't talk it like every other word but insist on whispering it). you even stopped baby jabber. you went totally mute - bar the uncontrollable giggles when papa tickled you of course. had our little show-off gone all shy? were you feeling overwhelmed? the answer, a huge resounding NO. we now know you were taking it all in, learning, processing, getting ready to explode with new words, mannerisms and a deeper understanding of the world around you.

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you're love for the moon is finally verbalised as you point skywards, inhale excitedly and proudly proclaim "moo". could this mama and papa be more enchanted? and when it's morning and the moon is sleeping, we ask, "where's the moon baby?" you hold out your little hands at shoulder height with the sweetest expression of not knowing on your beautiful face. could you be anymore edible? when the sun baby rises and giggles in teletubbies you become so overcome, smiling, giggling, ecstatically stomping those busy feet and bringing both your hands to your mouth in absolute over-flowith-joy! when you see no-face in howls moving castle, wave and happily greet him "hello". the way you sing along in song of the sea. coming up from nana's and seeing you knock-knock-knock on the glass door, so polite and well mannered. you. blow. kisses. mama's morning delight - we drop you at school and papa takes you out your seat and we blow one another kisses and wave "bye-bye". you wave hello to everyone you who crosses your path and it's so sweet but also terrifying at the same time because you are way to friendly.

things that are still totally you but better expressed - well for one your total infatuation with your papa. you kicked me out the of the bedroom the other morning - we had woken, as we usually do on a weekend morning, and were letting daddy sleep in. on noticing the bedroom door was closed, you ran over to it and began banging on it and moaning, so naturally i opened it for you and followed you in. you took one look at papa, turned on your heel, pushed me out the room and then shut the door in my face. heart-breaking but freaking cute! i just adore your madamness. last night you picked up a cushion, laid it in papa's nook, climbed up on the couch and snuggled on in there - snuggling papa has always been your thing but now you do it so independently. you've counted along with me while i scoop the formula into your bottle since you were a few months old - i now hear the words forming in your utterly kissable mouth. you are still such a ball of energy and it's go time from the time those big beautiful eyes open until they gently slide closed at night. one day we shall have you a t-shirt made that states quite matter-of-factly "i came here to fuck shit up.". i do have to say that you are incredibly sweet and easy going for a little girl who’s a month away from your second birthday. the depth of that sweet, easy goingness never ceases to amaze...  

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keep being amazing lila bear.