Wednesday, February 5, 2014

remembering. (the next two weeks)

this was the week your nana and uncle daniel left us and went back home... i cried like i was loosing something so important. and i was. she cried too. we said it was so unfair! a girl should have her mom right next door, in the next bedroom, when she has her first baby. a girl needs her mom when she has her first baby. sad. heartbreaking. but what i remember even more, was one rainy evening, we were waiting for your dad to come and fetch us from uncle stu's. i was winding you and you smiled and then blessed our ears with the sweetest little giggle. it was awe-some my little love. i whipped my head around to look at your nana and ask if that was wind? she said that it probably was and that one can't really ever be sure but to look at how your little smile touched your eyes. i believe it was your first magical little giggle. yes.  photo 1_zps8e834ecf.jpg for our very first outing as a family we attended the i heart market. everyone ooh'ed and aah'ed (as they always do) but i will never forget introducing you to uncle max from saviour brand co. he said that we were very brave to bring you out and promptly dissolved into a puddle of goo once he caught a glimpse of you. you kinda dig him and that's weird cause the only dudes you really like are your papa and the uncles... uncle max is going to make you soft leather and swede moccasins. you shall be his model ♥ and we shall spread his story around like wild fire because it is one of true inspiration.  photo 2_zps5a8bc0e9.jpg  photo 3_zpsa81bed93.jpg  photo 4_zps8b54aa33.jpg just look at how teeny tiny you were! you're papa was winding you in this photo. winding, winding, winding. it's a never ending story and damn hard work when babies are still so new. it takes forever sometimes and that makes you second guess yourself all the time, 'am i doing this right?". i swear it felt as if that was all we ever did. i would say the stand alone negative (if you could even call it that) of a newborn/new-parent.  photo 5_zps0792d68b.jpg  photo 6_zps82bd3f95.jpg this photo of you with you little lips pursed and your tongue poking out is my absolute favorite newborn lila bear face! you would do it after feeding. i would sit and watch you, waiting for you to purse those little lips and roll that little tongue until it poked through. defo a highlight. poor jack was feeling a bit neglected because i wouldn't let him on the bed any more. sometimes i caved... i adore the photo above of him starring out the window at the rain. he almost looks forlorn.   photo 7_zpsa7635527.jpg
i adored letting you fall asleep on my chest. it was one of the million questions i asked my mama, is this okay? am i setting up a bad habit? her answer was, no, definitely not. if that's what you want and feel you need to do then do it. you totally vommed all over your papa while snuggled up like a little baby kangaroo in the mama (papa) kangaroo's pouch. it was super funny! and we have this sweet photograph to always remind us, never get to comfortable and to always expect the unexpected. haha! photo 8_zps6b8a56cc.jpg time passes way too fast! one month old already?! i love taking photo's of you baby bear. you are my muse. i dunno how much you like being the model, especially now you're older, but it sure brings a great deal of enjoyment to your mama's heart. so thanks my little. i love you.  photo 9_zps577dad18.jpg

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

write it down. remember. (her first two weeks)

although i do not believe i will ever forget. especially how tiny you were. this is me attempting to get back into regular posting so i can remember the little things. the photo below was taken the morning after our first night home. the original & her sister make me laugh so hard because it is nothing like the soft beautiful adorableness you see before your eyes. no. your fathers eyes are all black shadows that scream of the anxiety filled one hour of sleep that all new mama and papas live through their first night home. alone. what did we get ourselves into??? aaahahaha! let's just say we were afraid. the amazing thing is how easyly you find your feet, not that it feels like it at all. photo 1_zpsf4593cd8.jpg your dad climbing the steps to our home with you for the very first time. you at one week old after your very first bath at home.captioned "my heart ♥"  those words awaken the memory of how i felt. i was so very full and happy. photo 2_zps8353b81b.jpg you. congratulations on your arrival. mama bear in awe of her baby bear.  photo 3_zpsef61e3c8.jpg sleeping at stu's while we visited your nan and the view from the balcony.  photo 4_zps7cf67d83.jpg two whole weeks old! you slept a lot. i know that i learned a valued lesson about nipple cream this week. an excruciating lesson. please new moms, don not apply regularly! all you do is set yourself up for very soft and exceptionally sensitive nips, you have to toughen those bad boys up. worst day and a half of my life. photo 5_zps4cd880d3.jpg
we did a little diy newborn shoot. it was fun and we got some nice family photos out of it. you were (as always) exceptionally well behaved. you peed on me only once and slept through most of it. even a few outfit changes. oh how things have changed... we were actually watching videos of you when you were this new the other night and were laughing at ourselves for being so neurotic! we were all "hold still baby!" baby that literally moved in slow motion... ahahaha! if only us then could see us now. pros my little homie. pros. photo 6_zps373cda7a.jpg  photo 7_zpscac4308b.jpg  photo 8_zpsc8efb22a.jpg